Frequently Asked Questions...
my 11 years old sister likes to be alone?
ok so ive been thru sum tuf thing when i was around her age..emotional broken family stuf..so i ask my sis about scul and stuf..and i show her that i love her but sumtimes im very short tempered and i always feel guilty about gettin mad. anyways i asked her alot about her friends at scul and she says she prefers being alone? and it worries me..so tell me is it ok 4 a 11 y/o to be that way? and my aunt also said that i have to be careful with her cuz she might have a potential to be mentally ill??? help guys pls..im really woried about her...
Answer:
It's ok for her to want to spend time by herself - she needs to find who she is, what she likes and doesn't like, etc etc... not everyone wants to have tons of friends, and try to be popular, etc. etc.
Some of us enjoy the peace and in my opinion that's a whole lot better than hanging around with kids that could potentially be a bad influence on her. She's showing that she is comfortable with herself and she's being a leader, not a follower, by being ok with doing her own thing. That's a positive thing!
* * At the same time, she also really needs to know that you love her and that she can come to you at anytime if she needs someone to talk to (let her know that you're sorry that you get frustrated with her sometimes, that's it not her fault and you love her very much and will always be there for her.) This is especially important because you stated the 'broken family" thing - she really needs to know that someone is there for her.
Encourage her to open up to you. Maybe she won't right away, maybe saying everything's ok - but maybe it isn't, so come to her and encourage open conversation as often as you can - eventually she'll come to you on her own, but for now help her.
* * She needs LOTS of praise! This will help with her self-esteem (has nothing to do with being "pretty": looks expire, education is forever.*) She needs to know that she's doing a great job in school (and if she's having some trouble, help her - you've been there!)
Is she creative? Let her know how "cool" her work is (if she isn't creative, maybe you can help her spark that interest.)
Thank her if she does something for you - let her know how much she's appreciated. Tell her how greatful you are to have her for a sister and how she brings a light into your life - be real with her; i'm sure you'll mean everything you tell her! 
(As far as the person who called her " potentially mentally ill" - that's terrible and she should be ashamed.)
I really hope this is helpful to you both.*
Good luck, big sis..
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